It’ll Happen Eventually

I often wonder if it’s going to be painful,
My death- ?
Being a soldier: will I be riddled with bullets
or captured by the enemy, or in a crashing plane
where my last few moments I’ll know
This is the end.
And panic- so much that I wanted to do
no more, knowing it’s over in a heartbeat!
or
Will it be slow, like the encroaching sunset
Steadily creeping on me as my body fails
Everyone staring at me with those eyes
wondering ‘When?’
Hate staring back at them, envious
because they have more of what I don’t
Time!!!
With regret haunting my every dream
All that could have been and never was…
But then I remember: I’m not dead yet