Final stages of my book

As I type this I am in the final stages of putting together my submission to the Walt Whitman Award which may be the first step in getting published! My good friend April is to my left using her education to edit all my shit. Then we just got to put everything in order...then put it all in digital format to submit. Needless to say I'm very excited, this has been a long time coming.

I believe last time I said I wasn't deploying thus I had more time to write, well now I am deploying, so I'm finishing this up to submit earlier than I wanted, but doesn't mean it's any less of what I wanted my submission to be, just shorter.

This is just one big step, I plan on writing a ton when I get back and entering more contests in the mean time. It won't be until April of 2015 that I'll find out the results so I'm not going to be sitting idly by waiting for results!

Sarah's Riverwalk

We walked hand in hand

down by the river

at night-

licking ice-cream,

music drew us to the water.

ZZ Top lookalikes rocked out

while I wrapped my arm around you-

you looked at me with those blue eyes

and I stared back…

It had been years since I felt

even a fraction

of the happiness

that I

felt right then

and although the night would end

when you took me home

this moment could stay with me

forever.

The moon looked beautiful

reflected in the river

as you did

reflected in my eyes-

We walked hand in hand

down by the river

at night.

Sarah's Stages of Grief

At first there was denial,

because I didn’t want to accept

this was the end-

that all we went through, all that I

felt

was for nothing.

Then I tried to bargain.

Maybe, just maybe, if I had

A little more time

you would see things my way

and stay

and nothing would have gone to waste.

But when I realized that no matter

what I did

I could no longer reach you

I sank-

lower than I’ve ever been,

so low that I never thought I’d

see the light again.

It was then that I hated.

I hated so much

and in my head

I wished things that should never

be said

and only seething with anger could I

overcome the heartache,

because it’s easier to hate than

it is to love

and not have that feeling returned.

So farewell

I wish I would have never

known you

but since I do

you’ll have to accept that I

hate you.

Ramblings #2

In a little over a week I should find out the results of the short story contest. I'm both excited and terribly anxious. But then again, who wouldn't be?  After all the work that was put into it I can only hope I do decent. Regardless of the result I have to thank all the people who helped me with proofing, editing, and giving their feedback. Special thanks to a friend of my uncle, Kaye, who really red-penned the shit out of it, ultimately helping make a much better story. And to Brandy who similarly provided feedback. I'd really like to thank my friend April without whom I probably wouldn't have started writing again and Sarah for providing so much inspiration.

Also, for those wanting updates you can follow me on twitter @Tylerrey. I'll be busting my butt in the next few weeks to get ready for the Walt Whitman Award, probably less updates here as I'm focused on putting out more poems.

Thanks for your support. As always feel free to comment and provide feedback, your feedback is invaluable!

~ Tyler

Sarah's Habit

I awoke to the sound of my alarm -
a hellish noise that could wake the dead.
I hit the snooze button
with all the strength I could muster -
I wasn't ready to wake up,
but I reached for my phone
started to text you
"Good morning, darlin!"
My finger hovered over the send button.
What was the point? It was over.
"Just friends."
I didn't want that at all,
that was like a participation ribbon-
you were the trophy that I wanted
and lost.
I deleted my text;

this was a habit I needed to break.

The work day was over

and as I drove home I picked up my phone

to tell you how shitty my day is-

so I could hear you tell me it'd be alright

and advise me on what I should do,

so I could just hear your voice-

I put the phone back down;

this was a habit I needed to break.

I was finally falling asleep,

couldn't keep my eyes open any longer

when my phone rang.

I knew who it was, 'cause of the ringtone,

and with all the immediacy

of a life or death emergency

I grabbed the phone.

I stared at it for a long time, stared

at the picture that showed me who was calling:

You.

I didn't know what you could want this late...

Maybe it was a real emergency,

or maybe you just wanted to talk like we used to,

or maybe you wanted to fix things between us.

That was unlikely-

It was over.

I let your call go to voicemail.

This was a habit I was going to break.

R.M.W.

I remember

as a child watching his movies

all the joy that was had.

Laughing so hard that it hurt,

tears running down my cheeks.

And the joy he brought

didn’t fade as I aged.

The laughter took me out of

my shadows

and let me forget, for a time,

that they existed…

But he lost the battle to the

darkness

that creeps along the edge

of the mind

and I can’t help but wonder

will I too lose the battle?

Is it only a matter of time?